Friday, January 9, 2009

Anticipating my six month CT check-up

So, my CT scan is coming up. This is my six-month check-up after finishing chemo. I have the scan next Tuesday. Then the following Tuesday, Inauguration Day, I meet with my oncologist to get the results. In fact, my appointment is at 11:30 am, just about the time of the inauguration! I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful new phase for all of us.

This weekend, I started to obsessively plan trips. I'm not someone with wanderlust, so this isn't normal behavior for me. After recording every day off, long weekend and school vacation between now and April, I became a woman obsessed with planning places to go and things to do. I specifically wanted places that were fun, interesting, different, and potentially non-refundable. On top of that, I found a blank spot in my schedule and committed to taking a course this semester. Because, if I plan these things, there is a future, right?

I'm realizing that planning these trips is my coping mechanism for dealing with the stress of any upcoming tests. While I can often pretend that cancer is behind me, the next few weeks contain vivid reminders that I live under a bit of a cloud. There is my CT scan, and the follow-up appointment for that. Then, my mammogram (yup, still doing those!) and my follow-up for that. The good news is that these are all in a span of a few weeks, then it is (fingers crossed, lotsa prayers) back to life as usual.

But for now, I'm trying to drink lots of water so that they can more easily find a vein to get blood out, contrast in. I'm trying to relax. And I'm eating lots of chocolate!

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