Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Stable CT so on a chemo holiday

Thanks for waiting with me. The bottom line is: I'm on a chemo holiday and my next CT scan is at the end of May.

More details:
My CEA is 11.6, down only a smidge from two weeks ago, at 11.7, but still, down, so I'll take it.
The "activity" (love these code words) in my lymph system is barely noticeable on the CT scan, so that is great positive news.
The two tumors are stable at exactly the same size as two months ago.
And there are no new tumors. Big yay for that.

My plan (HA! I should know better by now) was to do chemo until the end of May. At that time, in my mind, my CEA would be in the normal range and the tumors would be gone. Or, I would just need a break.

The doctor's recommendation is that I take a chemo holiday now because things are stable now and who knows what the future holds. Okay, that sounded ominous so I didn't want to go there if we were just speculating. 

I have to say, I was conflicted. I was geared up for more chemo, for quite awhile. At the same time, when someone says you don't need to vomit and feel sick for the next few days, it is hard to pass up that offer.

A few years ago, I had surgery to remove a very small tumor, and there was no other sign of disease in my pelvis. The surgeon thought I should follow up with chemo, and she put the case before the board of doctors (or whatever they are called). She told me that not a single doctor agreed with her, but she felt strongly that I should do chemo as a follow up.

At that time, also, I couldn't resist walking away from chemo. And three months later, I had a 10 cm tumor on my ovary, followed by a huge surgery. I can't help but reflect on that.

So, my inner conflict continues. I am going to sit with this for two weeks and see how I feel then. 

For now, I do feel like someone just gifted me four whole weeks, because there are four weeks where I would normally be doing chemo where now I will not.

Deep breath. And thanks. For your prayers, your support, your helping me to feel not so alone,the meals and all the healing vibes you send this way.

I send my love to you and wish God's blessings on you today and every single day.

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