Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Managing cancer and going for world peace, one step at a time

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, your good will and your support, for me and for my family. Besides the huge impact on me and my health, I know that it helps Tiron immensely, and the kids as well. For them, as for all of us, the stress pops up during what often seems like unlikely moments, and we appreciate how you are handling it along with us. Thank you.

It might seem like your efforts are small, they are huge for us. I was reminded of this during a recent talk with my doctor. People comment that I am managing cancer as a "chronic disease" (as opposed to a fatal diagnosis), and I like that mindset. Though I still hope to get rid of this cancer, if I can't, well, I'd like to LIVE with it.

As I thought about this mindset, I started noticing more and more subtleties. For example, my doctor would say, "When this chemo stops working...." when I would prefer to hear, "IF this chemo stops working...." That one word difference can send my emotions diving to the bottom, and after our conversation, I was left alone to stand up, brush myself off, and somehow climb out of the hole I was in.

This kind of knock-down was not exclusive to my doctor. It happens, for example, when someone honks their car horn: I happily drive along, feeling the breeze from the open car window and singing away, then that horn blast goes right through me, shattering the good will into shards flying out the window. 

I do it to others as well, like when I come down too hard on the kids for a relatively minor infraction and watch the change in their eyes. Or when someone is blocking my way and I say "excuse me" with a bit of edge in my voice. Though unintentional, the other person ends up absorbing my ill will, where it either does some damage to them, or it affects their mood and they pass the ill will along to someone else.

If we can pass along negative feelings with small thoughts and actions, we can certainly pass along positive ones, and we feel that impact when you share yours. They may seem to be small, but they are powerful, and hopefully we are passing those good feelings along to others. 

So, thank you, for all you do for our lives, and also for the feelings of peace and good will that you are sending out to the world as a result.

Chemo day for me -- keep those good thoughts and prayers coming! :-)

Love,
Marie

P.S. Some folks wanted to know about prior emails. If you want to check them out (no pressure), look here:
http://adventures-in-colon-cancer.blogspot.com/

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